Smile
by aznchibidragon88
Summary: Starfire finally confesses her true feelings for Robin, but his answer and outcome were not expected. What's poor Star going to do now? The same thing as always. . . Smile [one-shot-songfic]


  
  
I suggest you read the song lyrics too or get the album, because the the whole story is pratically based on the song.   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans   
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The sun was setting and Starfire watched it with a heavy heart.   
  
_Sometimes I sit at home and wonder how it be, if he had loved me,   
truly loved me_   
  
There was no danger, no fighting to do, so there was nothing to stop her from pondering her situation. She was in love with the young Boy Wonder, but it couldn't work out and she was forced to learn the hard way. Earlier that day she had confessed her feelings to him, in hopes that he felt the same way.   
  
_yes, I learned awhile ago that kind of thing,   
it never happens for me_   
  
She couldn't leave her room. She couldn't leave her room, not without having to face him. Not after what had happened earlier.   
  
But she had to, she had to face the boy who held her heart, so carelessly, unaware of the already shattered pieces.   
  
She got up and attemped to leave her pain behind, in her room, and away from her.   
  
_and so I go around and just pretend   
love is not for me,   
I play the circus clown around my friends,   
make them laugh and they wont see_   
  
She wandered aimlessly down the hall in search of a friendly face, and that was what she found. Robin stood in front of her, feeling uncomfortable. He could only gaze at the floor, and the eyes no one could see, was drowning with guilt.   
  
She mustered up all the power within her to plant a smile onto her face, a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Robin", she started, "It is good to see you, I was in search for a friend to 'hang out' with me, but unless there is a criminal on the loose, I do not mind changing my plans."   
  
Robin grimaced, "Uh, no Starfire, um I just wanted to check on you, that's all."   
  
"Why do I need to be 'checked', is there something wrong with me?" Starfire asked, looking on curiously.   
  
"No, I mean I just wanted to talk about what happened earlier. . . about how you told me, about how you feel, for me. . ."   
  
"Oh Robin, thank you for your concern, but I am well, do not worry for me." With that said she smiled once more and walked past Robin.   
  
_That you never let them see you sweat,   
don't want them to think the pain runs deep,   
Lord know its killing me_   
  
It hurt knowing the boy she loved couldn't return her feelings, everyone told her it was obvious. Which proved to be true, and so she found out he did love her, he loved her like a younger **sister. **That was why he was so protective of her, why he was always so patient. He was the brother she never had, and the one that she didn't want.   
  
_So I put on my make up,   
put a smile on my face _  
  
She continued down the hall once more only to find her fellow crime fighters sitting on the couch, and simply chatting. When she entered, Raven was the first to notice her presence. She looked up at Starfire and the others followed suit.   
  
"Hey Star, how have you been doing?" Beast Boy asked, as he shifted uncomfortably. He felt wierd, weird about being wrong, weird about the tension that's beginning to grow in Titans Tower, and especially weird about seeing Starfire so heartbroken. Cyborg and Raven could only ask and hope for her to feel better. There was nothing else they could do for their close friend's happiness. If it were another boy, any other boy, it might have been simpler to handle. A couple of threats would do the trick. But it wasn't just any other boy, and the three Titans could only look on as the seemingly small rip in the Titans' friendship, could only grow bigger.   
  
Then she did something unexpected, she smiled.   
  
_and if anyone asks me, everything is ok_   
  
"I am fine, friend Beast Boy. Thank you all for caring but I am well, I have come to accept Robin's feelings for me, and found that I do indeed feel the same way."   
  
After hearing her reply the majority let out a sigh of relief, as well as a sigh from behind her.   
  
Starfire whirled around to face Robin, who held a smile of satisfaction. She smiled back, and soon she was unable to hold back the weird urge to laugh. Eventually she succumbed to the urge, and her goofy grin became a shrill laughter. Soon the others joined in, breaking the tension inside the tower, welcoming the sudden change in the young alien.   
  
_I'm laughing cause no one knows the joke is on me_   
  
That day went along the same way as any other day, a little crime fighting, some tofu versus meat fighting and a little virtual racing. . . fighting. But no matter how normal she felt, inside she knew she was slowly turning insane. Her hysterical laugh proved it, but none of them could know. she didn't need them to protect her, to take care of her. She didn't need a brother.   
  
_cause I'm dying inside with my pride, and a smile on my face...on my face singing la la la, la la_   
  
The very next day she sat in her room again, and wondered if it could be different. 'Maybe he was afraid and today he might think of me as a lover instead of a sister. Or he may have been lying about yesterday. That he might come into my room and and say those three little words, **I Love You**.'   
  
_Sometimes I sit at home by the phone hoping he might call me,_   
  
She averted her eyes toward the door, half- expecting and half-willing for it to swing open, to reveal his smile, to hear his voice say those sweet words that she so longingly wished to hear.   
  
_but he dont call me, _  
  
She lowered her gaze as she gave up. How could she have even brought up her hopes about something so unreal such as that? She heard him tell her of his true feelings for her, but it wasn't akin to the feelings that she felt. And his words, they held no love for her, only sympathy.   
  
_but then I realize dreams come true   
  
_Suddenly the door was pushed open by none other than the beautiful young boy, that she loved so dearly. And she couldn't suppress the smile, that true smile that has always graced her lips in days before these. Since the day she first met Robin_.   
  
arent for girls like me, not like me,   
  
_"Trouble", the one word that caused the world around her to shatter. She forced herself to keep the smile on her face as she nodded and got up.   
  
_And so I go around with my head up, like it ain't no thing   
  
_Soon they were finished, and they celebrated their victory back in the tower. Raven immediately went to the couch to retrieve her book from its spot on the puffy pillows for some silent reading, while Starfire, Beast Boy, and Cyborg chatted away excitedly about the fight. The last to enter the room, came up to the conversation, adding his stories. During their friendly conversation, they didn't notice a figure sneak away.   
  
_and when the boys around with all my friends, I'm into other things   
  
_"So friend Raven, what are you reading?" Raven looked up to Star's desparate eyes and sighed.   
  
_Cause you never let them see you sweat don't want them to think the pain runs deep, lord knows its killing me   
  
_"Why are you doing this to yourself Star?" the question startled Starfire, but she regained her composure and smiled.   
  
_So I put on my make up put a smile on my face and if anyone ask me everything is ok   
  
_"What ever do you mean Raven? I do seem not understand" Starfire spoke, not betraying a hint of the emotional turmoil that she truly feels.   
  
Raven sighed. As much as she wanted to help the poor girl, she didn't want to press the matter, especially if she's in complete denial. ' Masking your emotions this way, won't solve anything. I just hope you know what you're getting yourself into Star.' "Forget it Star," Raven sighed before continuing, "I'm reading about. . . " Starfire listen carefully to the story of the book, but try as hard as she might, she couldn't help but giggle.   
  
_I'm laughing cause no one knows the joke is on me, cause I'm dying inside with my pride and a smile on my Face...on my face oooh   
  
_That night, she laid on her bed, she couldn't go on like this. the truth was in front of her, she couldn't continue pretending_.   
  
Its not easy (thing to do) sometimes its hard to (face the truth)   
  
_Robin didn't love her the way she wanted him to. Her power were connected to her emotions, staying would only endanger them all. She couldn't risk their lives like that, his life like that. He hurt her, badly. But she couldn't find it anywhere in her heart to be angered by him. She will always love him, that's why she needed to leave.   
  
_Its not the life that I Would choose but what else can I do if he don't love me   
  
_She probably would never see her friends, the Teen Titans, ever again. After all these years, it would be hard to live without them, especially when they've been around for so much. She may never have friends like them ever again, but she wasn't afraid to be alone.   
  
_**Robin, ever since I met you, I found out what it means, to be truly lonely.**   
  
No if he don't want me I'm not about to sit around let myself go   
  
So I put on my make-up   
Put a smile on my face   
And if anyone asks me   
Everything is okay   
I'm laughing cause no one   
Knows the joke is on me   
Cause I'm dying inside   
With my pride and a smile   
On my face   
On my face   
  
Sing it la la la la   
  
...........   
  
_Well here are some author notes, I know there may be a few mispelled words and the lyrics may seem a bit weird, that's why you should listen to the song. But other than that, I'm sorry   
  
Also the quote, "ever since I met you, I found out what it means, to be truely lonely" i got from the manga Ceres, very cute. And the song is by Tamia.   
  
However i'm not sorry for the evilness and sadness of this story. . . i couldn't help it. I'm normally a big RobinXStar, you need proof check my favorites :P, but i'm not as big on happy endings.   
  
Well hopefully you review. A lot of reviews, might make me happier to write a longer, more happier story. . .   
  
Ja Ne [no i'm not japanese, just a wanna-be]


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